Help talk:How to Cite FamilySearch CollectionsEdit This Page
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Why don't your examples follow the widely accepted standards of genealogy research? By Evidence! Explained standards, the source citations should include information that would lead the reader to the actual original record, or as close to the original as possible.
For an online historical record collection like a US census record, that should include the National Archives Series number and Roll Number, and perhaps the FHL Microfilm number too.